get my 5 Nice gal mistakes you must change to attract real, lasting love.

(We Share Love, Never Your Email)

Hi! I’m Maryjane Kapteyn.

mjI’m a love & dating coach, self-love and worthiness champion and recovered too-Nice Gal (don’t worry, I’m still super sweet & kind).

I’m wholeheartedly committed to supporting Nice Gals who are overlooked and undervalued because they give too much, please to a fault and try too hard, to have the life and love of their dreams.

If you are looking for a proven professional who can guide you to address why you choose emotionally unavailable men, settle for less and give too much, you’ve come to the right place.

With over 20 years of experience working with Nice women all around the world, and guiding them to attract the love they desire, my mission and commitment is to support them to stop being pushovers and confidently stand up for their worth.

The Goal

My goal is to support every woman and young girl to feel lovable, worthy, confident and self-assured so they STOP GIVING THEMSELVES AWAY TO BE LIKED, ACCEPTED OR LOVED. Empowering them to feel more than ‘good enough’ and deserving by developing high standards, healthy boundaries, strong support systems, and a happy life so they do not enter into relationships that hurt, hold them back or damage their self-esteem.

Finally, becoming the worthy, radiant, irresistible, ‘take on the world’ kind of women they were always meant to be!

Feeling Strong, Secure, Confident and Worthy, is my promise.

My Love Story

mj-fistYou have a big-heart.“The Truth is beyond any failure to feel loved in the past, you are lovable, loving and you can find real, lasting love.”
– Maryjane Kapteyn

My biggest credential is my personal love history. For years I struggled with unworthiness and never feeling sufficiently loved. Childhood abuse and abandonment set the stage for my low self-worth, highly sensitive nature and insecurity. I based so much of my happiness on the dream of another’s love. I thought if I loved enough and became the best me than how could others, men in particular, not love me return.

I realized I was replaying old childhood pattern of giving, pleasing, perfecting, and being good so that I could feel safe. I gave too much, tried too hard, accommodated, sacrificed and changed, thereby attracting emotionally unavailable men who wouldn’t commit, withheld attention or affection and were critical of me. In moments, when a man would act lovingly, I wore him out with my demands for reassurance, my unhappiness or mistrust. I know the pain of loving too much, being a doormat and trying too hard to make love happen. But I finally stopped the nice gal madness and found my Soulmate love at 40. If I can find real love late in life (plus baby!) so can you.

All my education had one primary motivation understand how people CHANGE and why they don’t. Technically speaking, a Bachelor’s Degree in Humanities (B.A Hum) exploring my other loves -psychology and comparative religion; thesis work on in Buddhist Psychology and a grant award on spirituality, accreditation as a Solution Focused Coach (ACTP) certification with Erickson College, and Akandha Yoga Teacher Training with Vishvaketu. Plus, more personal development and entrepreneurial courses I could possibly list here.

A Method in the Madness

First of all, I’m not the kind of love-expert who did everything right in relationships: I took the hard, long road to love so you don’t have to. I learned in the trenches, trial and error style with sweat, heartache, and complete stupidity and failure. I learned HOW TO LOVE & SELF-LOVE because my sanity and desire demanded it. I was tired of despairing, feeling desperate, determined and exhausted in the same breath, living beneath my potential and feeling less-than. Frankly, I also got pissed-off, thinking ENOUGH-IS-ENOUGH!

Like my clients, I felt driven to secure love by perfecting, performing and pleasing. It didn’t matter how many courses I took, books I read, how many body aligning prone-positions I contorted into or experts I talked to… I would circle back again and again re-creating the same disappointing heartbreak. Getting angrier, more frustrated and more love-avoidant each round.

I decided to turn inward and uncover the real reason I stayed single for years despite all my efforts. It was too simplistic to say I just didn’t feel worthy or good enough (I’d heard that one before!). Beside, almost, everyone has felt this way at some point or another- they had love and more.

I discovered HOW THE NOT GOOD ENOUGH STUFF uniquely expressed itself in gals like us. Understanding these nice gal patterns unlocked the door to freedom. Add clarity and courage to the mix and BAM! Breakthroughs in every aspect of life happened.

Kick “Miss Nice” to the Curb

kickIt’s not about perfecting for a man, but being the best YOU, for you.

I guarantee, you’re NOT single because there are no good guys out there BUT because you consistently chosen men who can’t, won’t or don’t love you and consistently pushed away real love with your too nice ways.

Giving yourself away and loving too much is why NICE GALS STAY SINGLE & STUCK. There’s an emotional energy that keep nice behaviors in autopilot mode, even when acting that way makes you feel fearful, anxious, crazy, out of control, stupid (even though you’re smart), needy (truthfully you’re just starving for love), frustrated, closed-off, frantic, irrational, emotional, exhausted, resentful, demanding, controlling, weak, undisciplined, shut-down, and any other potential accusation you could throw at yourself in moments you felt emotionally gutted and afraid.

I’m here to support you to stop blaming yourself (it’s not your fault!), to get seriously sassy and self-loving and end the too-nice cycle with my love-worthy system. More than finding a man, (& yes, that’s part of the goal), the first focus is on loving you and loving life so that you can attract and create a high-deserve level relationship.
What lights me up about this work is watching my clients transcend nice gal ways, to finally (big sigh of relief) believe in themselves, receive love with open hearts, feel confident, happy, carefree, enthusiastic, radiant and joyful. The safety, happiness, support and juicy joy of REAL LOVE is amazing!!! It’s worth all the learning, every effort and every dollar you spend to FIND it!

I am living this love & I found my perfect man, so can you!

What you need to attract
a good, loving man

Magnetize a Man From Your Happy place.

 

You’ve been taught your lovability depends on what you accomplish, what you give, being needed, being liked and who loves you in return. Essentially, in subtle or overt ways, you’ve been giving up you to be loved.

This has left you feeling anxious, empty, alone, desperate, fearful, mistrusting, insecure, uncertain, closed off, frantic and sad.

This definitely, isn’t radiating confidence, openness and attractiveness. In actuality, this negative charge is repelling good men (and encouraging other men to take advantage).

Get Happy. Love YOU First. Love Your Life.

It’s time that you claim your worth, live in joy, love-yourself-up and feel happy so you can get the love you deserve and desire.

WHEN YOU START TO CONNECT TO YOUR TRUE CONFIDENCE & SELF-WORTH,
YOU GET TO EXPERIENCE THE KIND OF AMAZING THINGS MY CLIENTS DO… LIKE:

bubblesEasily attracting high quality men, who are GIVERS and who freely offer attention, affection, gifts and support.

Feeling so content and relaxed, you no longer fear heartache or rejection – you can lean away from trying, perfecting and chasing and TRUST that love is on the way.

‘Kicking nice gal behaviors to the curb’ means no longer feeling frantic, desperate, needy, uncertain and insecure- which means men stops feeling turned off, disinterested and confused by you. Now that he can see the real you, he can fall in love.

A renewed energy and enthusiasm for life focused on connection, fulfillment, passion and purpose.

Free from the fear of not being enough, the best of you shows up. Dating becomes FUN, uplifting, inspiring and supports you to effortlessly and quickly find that special one.

Getting your love needs met without sacrificing, settling or compromising, supports you to drop the walls of self-protection
and heals your heart of all past hurts and disappointments.

Develop sassy, “I’m a goddess” self-love boundaries that make you feel FREE, CONFIDENT and RELAXED (because you know you’re value and have nothing to prove).

quote-left“After reading every book, attending multiple workshops, and going on endless dates for years, I thought I was destined to be alone… Maryjane helped me to identify my fears, needs, and expectations of a relationship and helped to clarify my vision of the man I desired. The exercises and meditations opened my heart and broke down barriers I had created from my past. With clear intention and guidance, I was able to make internal shifts, which ultimately attracted the man and the relationship my soul had deeply craved. I’ve never been happier! I am grateful for Maryjane and the work we did together. She’s a miracle-worker.” – Jo. L

quote-right“You are so passionate about this (love and dating for nice gals) and the genuine empathy you have for women going thru things you’ve gone thru is just admirable. I enjoyed hearing your talk today and I’ve been so much more aware of my nice gal mistakes… So guilty of over doing and all that, but no more!” – Charlene

quote-left“I am blown away by Maryjane Kapteyn. It hit so many things that were problems for me especially with my ex husband. It’s so beautiful to hear about ways to grow and heal from the past heartache. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to do this because I was afraid I’d still be too skeptical but it is proving to be more healing and helpful than I ever expected! I won’t ever be ready for my divine Soulmate if I don’t work on myself first and heal and grow. Thank you!” – Jackie N.

Personal fun facts

I am a big-hearted, empathic intuitive, spiritual, academic, inspired Yoga goddess, budding environmentalist, flexitarian with a love of raw foods, world-traveler, electro-funk house booty shaker, cherished friend, wise teacher, mom to my FAV little guy-‘Adam’.

I live by the motto “Do everything with love.”
It reminds me to mindfully choose love and course correct
when I’ve fallen short.

I’m addicted to tea and cake, green juices, power smoothies, fresh salad afternoon naps, yoga, TEDX, non-fiction books and pinterest. My greatest accomplishment is overcoming some big life challenges and traumas to heal my own patterns of unworthiness to live self-love and self-trust.

What are you waiting for?
Your love life is waiting!

Work With Me!

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Join my list to get my 5 nice gal mistakes
you must change to attract real, lasting love.

How to end false starts, heartache and disappointment
to attract Mr. Right (without settling, being a doormat or trying hard.)

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(We Share Love, Never Your Email)
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