I like You, But I Like Me More
It’s subtle or not so subtle, but the habit of over-giving and over-doing can creep in the minute you ‘like’ a guy. In fact, the more excited you are about him, the more feelings you begin to develop, and the more you crave his time and attention.
Naturally hopeful, Nice Gals can easily get caught up in the excitement of the moment, buying into a relationship before it’s fully formed. The fun, romantic stage feels good, so you go with it, thinking, ‘I like him and I’m sure he likes me back.
Maybe it works out, but what if it doesn’t?
It’s like betting your future on a Vegas craps table- maybe you win, and maybe you don’t.
Putting you last, hoping he’ll put you first, is risky. Liking him more than he likes you, causes self-doubt and insecurity. Giving him all your focus and attention puts pressure on you to make the relationship happen and pressures him to be your everything.
Pressure, no matter the source, can trigger strong feelings of anxiety and fear. This is when NG’s are likely to make poor choices and the moment men disappear.
Here are the ways, falling into him, stops him from falling for you.
Breaking Commitments to Yourself or Others:
When you like a man more than the life you had before him, your friendships, career, and well-being suffer. Pulling attention away from hobbies, interests, girlfriends, workouts, or rituals just to be with him devalues your high-worth status and gives him power over your happiness.
Planning Activities Around His Availability:
Suddenly leaving your schedule open when you know he’s available or restructuring your life around his preferences. Whether you have firm plans or not, you wait around for him refusing invites, just in case, or leave social events early to be with him.
Do this too long and eventually unmet needs and expectations cause resentment and disappointment. Mistrust grows since you’re never sure whether he likes you for you, or just finds it all so comforting, easy and convenient.
Initiating Contact & Trying to Giving Him Reasons to See You:
You text, call, email, facebook him or invite him to your home or out for events. The message you send is that your world revolves around him, and that’s not very attractive.
Becoming Exclusive Too Fast:
Whoa! Where’s the fire?! Part of you is trying to nail him down, secure the relationship, so you can relax and feel more certain, but rushing into the connection without qualifying if he’s the right man for you isn’t protecting your heart. You may end up going too deep with a man who is hurting you or in a rush to disappear.
You Stop Spending Time Alone:
The biggest sign of a secure woman is her ability to relish in her won company. Unconcerned about finding the one, she enjoys her freedom. In fact, time away from him can be an ally. You can step back to evaluate the relationship, fill yourself up with other things and create space to miss each other.
You Give to Him and Push Away His Offerings:
You start doing for him and not letting him do for you. Giving to him instead of letting him give to you. Reject a man’s offer to help with yard work, open doors or pay for dinner is tantamount to rejecting him. A good man wants to be needed. He wants to support, help, advise and desire you. demonstrating how much he cares is how a man develops deeper feelings for you.
You Compromise Your Readiness, Morals or Standards:
If you’re doing something you said you would never do; if you’re tolerating the intolerable; or if you’re compromising your own standards or values to be with a man, you’re acting too nice.
Succumbing to a man who is pushing you into sex before you’re ready, or dating an unavailable married man are acts of settling. Stop and ask yourself if this is going to get you long-term what you ultimately want.
Self-loving, secure and confident women act from the attitude of “I like you, But I like me more.”
They don’t compromise, settle, accommodate, or sacrifice their happiness or future for the attention of a man. It’s too high of a price to pay for such meager scraps of temporary ‘love’.
Women who love themselves erect strong boundaries, drawing non-negotiable lines in the sand around what is acceptable and what is not. No is no. Yes, please is a certain, unequivocal yes.
Nice Gal’s mistakenly believe they have to give love to be loved and compromise to secure the happiness. The opposite is true. Liking a man too much pushes good love and support away. It causes single gal false starts, triggers insecurity and sets you up to fail.
I guarantee once you adopt the I love me more mantra and commit to putting your needs first in a relationship, you’ll develop a newly confident and sassy love identity men find irresistible.
Once you’re no longer worried about whether he likes you, you can focus on whether or not, you’re truly into him.
Ask: Do I like him? Does he consistently make me feel safe, cherished, heard, seen and valued? If the answer is yes, he may be worth dating.
I like You,
