Date Slow! How To Stop Being Misled By Men Who Aren’t Ready For Anything Serious!
Dating one heartbreaker after another can leave you feeling hopeless, uncertain about your future, and questioning your worth and desirability.
You’re despairing that you may never have the love connection you’ve dreamt of … and wondering what the heck you’re doing wrong.
Trust me. I get it. I’ve made every mistake in the book (yes, I’m that expert), including a very common understandable one my client ‘Karen’ typically made.
Maybe you relate.
Karen came to me after ending up in a series of go-no-where relationships.
The GO-ALL-IN Nice Gal falls for a man hard and fast, leaping without looking. She gets caught up in the hugs, laughs, flirting and fun; how special and amazing a man makes her feel, losing sight of her bigger relationship goal.
Her romantic hopes have her believing because she’s in love; he’ll fall in love as too. Truth is, a man feeling good with you is not the same as a man having feelings for you. Date slowly and qualify his readiness for committed love.
Here’s the real shocker, even if he feels for you, possible even loves you, he still may not be ready to commit.
That is truly heartbreaking.
My advice to Karen was to date slow by enjoying a man but not get lost in the fantasy of what could be. In Nice Gal fashion she wasn’t asking for what she needed, going along and adopting his preferences and lifestyle and most of all not asking for exclusivity before falling into bed with him.
‘Good in the moment’ left Karen uncertain about where she stood, anxiously overthinking, obsessing about what to do and angry from being ignored.
It felt good to be cared for, seen and desired, but Karen admitted it was wearing on her heart to keep setting herself up to be repeatedly hurt and disappointed.
If you relate, you likely can recall times when you trusted blindly, went along hoping the little you were getting in the beginning would turn into something more.
Without even knowing it, you’re compromising your deeper needs for temporary pleasure has you settling for less.
The key is to know what you’re getting into before you get into it: to take a stand so you know where you stand. This means adopting high standards and communicating them right from the get go, so a man knows the price of admission. If he’s not willing to pay, don’t delude yourself that compromising now will inspire him to change his mind in the future (because it won’t).
(3 reasons why being nice doesn’t get you the guy)
Know you’re worth more than good for now, but a man who commits himself to you, so you can open your whole heart and trust yourself to be held as you fall.
Love,
