Take a Stand for the Love You Want
It’s time to take a stand.
Not just a stand against what you DON’T WANT, but a stand for what you DO WANT.
As a love and dating coach – I’ve heard every kind of question you can imagine. It can all be summarized into one key question:
What do I do when he’s…
not calling
pulling away
acting distance
no longer being romantic or taking me out on dates
taking me for granted
not listening
asking for more (but I’m not ready)
still on dating sites
wants to take things slow
won’t introduce to me his friends
and more!
The old nice gal approach is to talk it out – hoping he’ll step up, be different, show up and change. But let me save you heartache and time… men respond to ACTION, not words.
Yes, you can (and should) say how you feel, but it will have little or no impact unless you back it up with action.
- If he’s withdrawing, lean back (verses nice gal habit of leaning in or chasing after).
- If he’s not calling – pop him a quick text, but then you leave the ball in his court and get too busy to worry about it (game, set, match).
- If he’s neglecting you, book yourself a spa afternoon and go out with the girls on Saturday night (your usual date night).
- If he dismisses your feelings – call him out and start evaluating whether he’s really offering you anything more than occasional company.
- If he’s not introducing you to his friends (a.k.a not serious) evaluate if he’s worth your energy and exclusivity. Don’t risk everything on a hope and a wish. Focus on meeting your needs independent of him and the power dynamic will shift.
I could go on with many examples – but here’s the crux of it.
If you don’t fear the loss of him and trust you can and will meet your emotional love needs without him – you won’t compromise, accommodate, please, or give at your own expense. You won’t accept less than. And you won’t sit around waiting.
Fear, worry, anxiety, and insecurity (don’t worry we’ve all been there) push nice gals into giving what they cannot afford.
Taking a stand is saying, I am worth being cherished, seen, valued, attended to, adored, appreciated, loved and committed to.
While you go about your search in finding true love with the right guy- make sure the time, feelings and energy you invest are worth it.
Make sure your needs are being met and he is offering you the life and relationship you’ve always imagined.
The only way to ensure you get what you want now, and long-term – is to take a stand.
P.S. Flip “don’t want to want’s” with this handout and start attracting the love you deserve.Don't Want- Want List
